Welcome to my journal. I chose the name The Whole Life because for most of my life I have been chasing dreams in order to seek approval from others. I have spent a lot of time worrying about what others think, and it led me down a path of getting further and further from my self. Seeking validation from the outside also led me to betray my own instincts, my gut knowings, my own desires, and ultimately, my core self.
I chose a career in a male-dominated industry, and I fought my way to being named one of the top female entrepreneurs in the country. I have lost a lot of sleep over the last decade, worrying, striving, achieving, pushing. For what? Approval? Money? Recognition? Titles and labels? All of it.
In 2017 I became pregnant and for the first time I started indulging in self care. Gasp! I actually started taking time for me. I took baths regularly, I went to the spa, got a weekly massage, and I rested. The guilt for resting kept creeping in. I remember telling my clients and team that I booked off 8 weeks for maternity leave. If celebrities could only take off 8 weeks, so could I and I could get back to work as normal. We hired a nanny, bought a breast pump and did all the things to prepare for our baby, but also for me to return to work.
During my pregnancy I felt a deep, spiritual connection to my baby. I would sing a Buddhist mantra to him over and over and it translated to you, I am in you and you are in me. What I didn't realize, was that birthing him, was birthing me. I've spent my Whole Life, preparing for him.
They say when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Since my soul-mate and greatest teacher arrived in 2017 I've been on a new journey. Oh and hat 8 week maternity leave? I took a year. My ego, my identity, and my beliefs about myself have died a thousand, painful deaths since. Making way for the most beautiful awakening I never knew possible.
My purpose for this blog a.k.a my journey is to do something radical for me. I feel called to show up, as me, without allowing my fear of judgement stop me from sharing my most true, raw, and felt feelings across all topics of my life, business and parenthood.
If this speaks to you, please subscribe and join me. If this isn't your thing, I hope you find all the peace, joy and happiness in the world. Much love,